Well i wanted to write about failing. Only those who fail can go to a state of helplessness.This feeling is so beautiful. Generally people pray truly when they fail. WELL LET ME TELL YOU THAT I HAVE FAILED CONSISTENTLY. When i started doing seva in my teens every thing would become fiasco. I could not register people for course could not speak without stammering and everything used to breakdown when i touched it(literally!!). YES I have broken (glasses,cups,motors,... and much much more). Simple tasks like getting getting some vegetables for my teacher would end up in a mess. I still remember that night when i was walking alone in bangalore streets, UTSAH 2007 was a few days away and i started crying. Every thing i did was counter productive and useless.I screwed up the course accounts, ordered the wrong pizzas for my teacher (YES @ that time pizzas were very important), Lied about the number of registrations and got caught. I knew all my actions were out of love. Still there was failure. Suddenly and automatically a deep prayer came up. I felt that moment completely. It was a moment of deep perfection. perfection in feelings. Such a perfection that even now just the thought of that night ...... can trigger that perfection in my life even now.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Failing
Well i wanted to write about failing. Only those who fail can go to a state of helplessness.This feeling is so beautiful. Generally people pray truly when they fail. WELL LET ME TELL YOU THAT I HAVE FAILED CONSISTENTLY. When i started doing seva in my teens every thing would become fiasco. I could not register people for course could not speak without stammering and everything used to breakdown when i touched it(literally!!). YES I have broken (glasses,cups,motors,... and much much more). Simple tasks like getting getting some vegetables for my teacher would end up in a mess. I still remember that night when i was walking alone in bangalore streets, UTSAH 2007 was a few days away and i started crying. Every thing i did was counter productive and useless.I screwed up the course accounts, ordered the wrong pizzas for my teacher (YES @ that time pizzas were very important), Lied about the number of registrations and got caught. I knew all my actions were out of love. Still there was failure. Suddenly and automatically a deep prayer came up. I felt that moment completely. It was a moment of deep perfection. perfection in feelings. Such a perfection that even now just the thought of that night ...... can trigger that perfection in my life even now.
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